Every Taxpayer Dissatisfied with the Opening Ceremony Should Have the Right to Claim Compensation

2008/8/9 15:35:49

Every channel has been taken over by the Olympics. A moment of no choice, filled with an end-of-days extravagance, has truly stirred in this ID the desire to claim compensation.

First, all taxpayers should understand this: this end-of-days extravagance was paid for with every taxpayer's money. This is the most basic common sense of economics. Setting aside the obligation certain people have to publicly disclose expenditures — this tedious money-burning gimmick failed to deliver goods of the expected quality, so claiming compensation is naturally justified.

Although this ID never expected this gang of Zhang So-and-sos to produce anything beyond their golden exterior, rotten interior, hand-and-mouth indulgence in desecrating so-called Chinese culture, the fact that such lavish spending produced such a product is simply disheartening. If this ID absolutely must use the most generous assessment to set a tone for last night's farce, it would be: an anticlimactic, rhythmically chaotic, incoherently peddled batch of counterfeit so-called Chinese culture. When that nonsensical garbage theme song rang out, this ID truly felt ashamed for that Chen fellow. Is so-called Chinese music supposed to be nothing more than pentatonic-scale-ified? You at least came out of the Central Conservatory of Music in the 1980s — does going to France mean you can be as shameless as the French?

As for that laughable torch lighting, this ID can only think of two words: premature ejaculation. An absurdly overlong foreplay followed by a perfunctory finish — if that's not premature ejaculation, what is? It doesn't even qualify as AV material, and you call that lighting a flame? When has this lot ever done anything beyond flashy foreplay that didn't end in premature ejaculation?

This ID thinks the only redeeming aspect of this spectacle is: if over 4 billion people worldwide were all bamboozled by this counterfeit Chinese civilization, then let's just make this thing perpetual. Unfortunately, truly discerning Westerners aren't so easily duped. On the contrary, their favorite move is to first inflate you with flattery until you're dizzy, and certain people get so aroused by Western verbal titillation that they start thrusting wildly and ejaculate prematurely — and then they're satisfied. As for who's really fooling whom, who can say?

Do taxpayers currently have the right to claim compensation? They don't. And what kind of tragedy does that imply?

Fine then, let premature ejaculation continue being premature ejaculation. Time is running short — might as well live in drunken oblivion!