Three Model Essays on "Striking Right While Pretending to Strike Left"!

2006/4/28 21:50:09

Below are three essays written under the ID "Girl Who Likes Math" on the Zhou Zhijin issue:

Zhou Zhijin, You Couldn't Even Get into College, and You're Still Showing Off?!

Who Zhou Zhijin is, this girl has no interest in knowing — as long as it's a man, this girl must spit upon him. But a man who can't even get into college and still comes out to show off — that's not merely a manifestation of the innate defective nature of men, it more represents a personal problem. After all, before men are completely extinct, at least many of them can still get into college.

In Zhou the man's account, he seems to have studied courses very diligently, which makes it supremely strange — how could diligent study still fail to get into college? Nowadays the college acceptance rate is so high that getting into college is simpler than eating a steamed bun. Some people never study seriously, yet seem to get into whatever they want — how can the gap between people be so vast?

Of course, it's not as if not attending college is some great problem — universities nowadays are essentially no different from certain special consumption establishments. But to sharpen one's head to squeeze in, even filing reports to audit classes at a university that's no different from certain consumption establishments — is this truly determined by nature? Of course, professors nowadays are no different from "call-beasts" [a pun: jiàoshòu means both 教授 "professor" and 叫兽 "screaming beast"], and cursing a couple of professors is no big deal. It's like in certain establishments where there's the issue of competing for favor — anyway men nowadays all enjoy this. Compete all you want, consume all you want, but to then file reports and come out showing off — that's too "Promise" [as in the film], or do men nowadays all enjoy eating steamed buns?

Although this girl is roughly the same age as Zhou — since I haven't investigated his exact age and don't want to compare who's older or younger — I still must advise this fellow: learn some real skills first. In terms of figure, you can't compare to Sister Mu or Sister Furong; in terms of learning, there are oceans of people above you. Those who go out to hustle must eventually pay their debts. Although this girl holds men in utter contempt, still, from the perspective of being in the same generation, let me waste a few words — don't make it so easy when this generation of feminism eliminates male power, or it won't be any fun.

Reply to Zhou Zhijin's Lengthy Response to "Why I Didn't Want to Take the College Entrance Exam"

This girl spent ten minutes writing "Zhou Zhijin, You Couldn't Even Get into College, and You're Still Showing Off?!" which upset the leftists and also drew out Zhou Zhijin's lengthy response today, "Why I Didn't Want to Take the College Entrance Exam." Men take pride in length; this girl only loves slenderness and has no interest in long things. That post only proves that his failure to get into college was no accident, and that his judgment can only compete in the 4-to-5 age bracket (those who've tried it know).

Failing to get into college is just failing to get into college — there's really nothing to explain. Nowadays the difficulty of getting into college doesn't exceed that of eating a steamed bun. Would you write a lengthy response about whether or not you ate a bun? But if a person can't even get into a university that's inferior to a steamed bun, being called out is only natural. The prerequisite for rebelling against social conventions is that you're capable of fulfilling them; if you can't, then it's merely an unimpressive excuse. If a person got into a Tsinghua PhD at age five and then announced to the whole world, "I despise Tsinghua" — then the whole world would applaud, not despise. Conversely, if a person can't even get into a university that's inferior to a steamed bun, shouldn't being despised a little be expected?

The characteristic of men is their love of erecting chastity monuments — clearly enjoying a certain profession, they twist and squirm saying "no, no." If you don't want college, why go audit classes there? How is this different from claiming you don't want to engage in a certain profession while lingering at its doorstep every night? The characteristic of leftist men is pretending to know what they don't. Like their online banner-bearer "Mathematics" [a username], who replied under this girl's "Challenge All Men in the World — If I Lose, I'll Quit the Internet Immediately!" thinking that numbers in poetry can be made up as casually as his posts, not knowing that this girl's use of "three" could only be the uniquely level-toned "三" (sān), and "one reed" is an allusion that cannot be substituted. That's just how leftists are — forgive them!

As for the malicious slander against this girl using internet rumors in that response — just as leftists have always tried to link this girl with some "Mathematics" — this has essentially crossed into legal territory. Some day when this girl is in a bad mood, she can certainly play with legal weapons. However, just as with an egg-laying duck you can't kill the duck to take the eggs, things are so entertaining right now, so let's continue — this girl is very happy right now. As for Zhou the man saying this girl is very good with computers, this girl doesn't deserve such praise. Computers, like men, are merely things to be consumed. This girl never masters things meant for consumption — as long as they work, that's enough. Who'd bother mastering anything!

On the Zhou Zhijin Issue — Right-Wingers, It's Your Turn to Get a Trimming!

This girl is anti-left, anti-right, anti-center, anti-men, anti-everything. Having gently trimmed the leftists a couple of days ago, not giving the rightists an equally gentle trimming would make them jealous and itchy, unable to sleep. On the Zhou Zhijin issue — right-wingers, it's your turn!

As everyone knows, when male ape-men encounter the stark-naked, call-beasts appear. One would have thought professors were like male ape-men — stark-nakedly being call-beasts! Only today do we discover that they can't even handle a Zhou Zhijin. Professors are indeed call-beasts, and full-time ones at that! A full-time professor is still a professor — scholars are the most useless of all. But which professor nowadays is a pushover? Without being a call-beast, without call-selling, how could one profess? Then it's supremely strange — these people who've fought their way up in the call-beast world, how can they not even handle one person who sharpened his head to squeeze in and audit their classes?

Don't prattle to this girl about humanity and dignity. The right-wingers' track record on humanity and dignity is known worldwide. You see Zhou Zhijin getting shamelessly famous — doesn't it make you itchy and jealous, unable to sleep? Jealous, aren't you? When you lick your American masters, you're so shameless that your tears soak through your underwear. Don't think you can be arrogant just because it's the Year of the Dog! Right-wingers act like grandsons on the surface while always looking for opportunities to recoup with interest — your little schemes are known to everyone on Earth!

Don't think the internet gives right-wingers their chance; don't think forums let you make your sly, snide remarks. Given the chance you'd bounce around a bit — give it up, your American daddy can barely save himself. He doesn't even know how he'll die someday, yet still swaggers around the world! Democracy what? Freedom what? One can say with certainty that once right-wingers get their chance, the blood they spill will be no less than the leftists'. What Hu Hansan looked like when he came back — even Martians know!

Right-wingers, how was this eight-minute post-trimming? Two minutes less than the leftists' ten — do not be jealous!