The Greatest Risk to Chinese Society: Hu Hansan Is Coming Back!

2006/4/10 21:46:14

What is the greatest risk to Chinese society? It's actually very simple. Say this or that, but it all boils down to one sentence: the Hu Hansans are coming back! Who is Hu Hansan? Everyone on Earth knows! What does Hu Hansan love? Even the dogs on Earth know! More than a decade ago, when the Hu Hansans were at their most glorious, everything they loved bore a unified trademark: "liberalization."

As everyone on Mars knows, one day the trademark of liberalization suddenly became too hot to handle. The Hu Hansans immediately changed their clothes and went into hiding—becoming Americans, Europeans, Taiwanese, Hong Kongers; diving into business, bureaucracy, the stock market, the literary world; disguising themselves as chickens, ducks, geese, rabbits; or as gods, demons, ghosts, monsters. As the saying goes, "spring enters the burn scars and turns them green"—never having been uprooted, they naturally grew back in the dark. Those who had been too eager on the political front and got their fingers burned pivoted—building hidden plank roads while openly repairing the main road—doing economics for over a decade, also marketizing, also going joint-stock, also joining the WTO. Everything that needed to "also" was "also-ed," and naturally they wanted to be the masters.

Fine, be the masters then—but without servants, where are the masters? And the world never lacks raw material for servitude. Where there's money there are servants. Servants have no other skill—they just love to use their mouths. Singing, playing, strumming, performing—the servants fall over each other to serve the masters, and the masters become even more masterful. The masters are here, Hu Hansan has returned. At first they only poked their turtle heads out and waggled them a few times, then they started extending and retracting with increasingly brazen ease.

When Hu Hansan returns, what does he need? Blood! There are several ways to take blood, all related to time. One second or one day? One year or one lifetime? Hu Hansan's methods of drawing blood are nothing more than these few varieties. Hu Hansan has returned, the zombies have returned, the blood they need is ready, they are coming back right now—and this is the greatest risk to Chinese society!