Latest Scientific Conclusion: A Logical Proof That All Men Are Ducks!!!

The well-known syllogism of formal logic goes like this: Major premise, minor premise, conclusion. This lady will now use this rigorous logical method to prove that all men are ducks!

Major premise: All ducks are fowl. Minor premise: All men are fowl. Conclusion: All men are ducks.

Some may object: the minor premise is wrong, men are not fowl! Alright then. A fowl is a creature that depends on a certain organ to reproduce. May I ask: don't men depend on a certain organ to reproduce? If that organ is removed, can men still reproduce? Obviously not. Therefore men are fowl. Since the minor premise holds, the conclusion holds: all men are ducks. QED!

Of course some male apes might still quibble. But quibbling itself only proves they are ducks -- because only ducks quack!