The Most Astonishing, Ghost-Shaking No. 1 Speed Poem of All Time
2006/6/28 21:14:23
A petty man is a petty man — ask not if he's wicked or small.
Having milk makes no one a mother; having rice makes no one a father.
Every hill flies a great banner; every road has only wildflowers.
Though duck-billed and rat-eyed, something they've got bigger than an eggplant.
In the pounding sky, stars and sun fall; from hollow earth, dragons and serpents rise.
Where is one not a guest? Where can one not call home?
Vast, the waters of the gray sea; radiant, the clouds of Mount Wu.
The goddess — vanished without trace; only treetop crows remain.
In a flash, shadows come and go; from the far sky, a hoarse cawing.
A great cannon blasts skyward, striking by chance the Nine-Dragon carriage.
Xihe squints one eye, and grabs a great forked bamboo staff.
Rebuked for disrupting official business, arrested and dragged to the celestial court.
The court has eight mouths; the lions have two rows of teeth.
Between heaven and the mortal world — really, no difference at all.
Word suddenly comes: the great lord met a pretty lass last night.
A startled horse falls in a fierce gale; into a chamber he goes for a sauna.
Arrivals first go to prison, hands and feet clapped in iron shackles.
A month and a half flash by — nothing but rice and tea.
A single robe, wrinkled beyond smoothing; tangled temples, wild as hemp.
What was once a pillar holding up the sky is now a yellow bean sprout.
The prison roof suddenly cracks; Venus stands above red blossoms.
The decree proclaims: Marshal Tianpeng, for lewd acts profaning the Moon Goddess —
Banished by edict through three lower realms, forever a croaking frog.
All males in heaven shall self-castrate with the Moye blade.
Those who comply keep heavenly bliss; resisters dissolve into sinking sand.
In a flash, light folds ten-thousand-fold; red rain veils the sun and moon.
Horses neigh, the cuckoo weeps; dragons chant, the phoenix sighs.
Silver juice tempers jade; steel hands rend the pipa asunder.
Suddenly heaven and earth fall still; the sun and moon turn clear and fine.
Graceful immortals, each bearing an enormous mace.
Clouds and mist fling wide the Gates of Heaven; wind and thunder beat ten thousand drums.
The strongman hoists his golden halberd, eyes red, maw like a shark's.
"Bold lecher! Defying the decree — no further charges needed.
The little head may be precious, but the big head deserves more praise.
A capable minister shirks no cunning; Bian's jade shirks no flaw.
Why imitate a dullard — wooden and dumb like a melon?"
"Heaven's net is truly vast — who isn't a fish or shrimp?
Life drifts by in a flash — a floating raft on the gray sea.
But these knees are plated with gold — I'll never crawl like a dog.
Come quick, come now! Add one more scar across my neck.
Spill a chest of hot blood — dye two pounds of hawthorn berries."
The axes are about to fall — the sky tilts askew.
Heaven and earth roar as one, and — whack! — up pops Nüwa.
Kneading clay without water, churning out nothing but shoddy dregs.
Patching the pot day and night — worked your old lordship to death!
Rivers collapse, stars shatter; whale-waves roll without end.
All whirls into fires of the three realms; all creatures turn to reeds in the wind.
The Nanke dream shatters; heaven and earth drape themselves in gauze.
The slanting sun spills red tears, moistening loquats across the hills.
Beyond the haze, village ruins crowd thick; among clouds, the road to heaven stretches long.
Sobbing like autumn waters — from where, no one knows, a nomad's flute.
Replies
缠中说禅 2006/6/28 22:28:44
That first reply just now was too long and affected loading of this post — deleted. Please forgive!
缠中说禅 2006/6/28 22:14:47
[Anonymous] 萨克
2006-06-28 21:34:09
Wow, OP's poem is long — and the person above shouldn't get so worked up either, six shots in a row, extra-long too, truly soaking wet`````````````
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The duplicates have been deleted — don't get too worked up either