Oh, Master, This Humble One So Admires Your Eminence!

Nowadays everyone craves a taste of "master." Nowadays masters are running all over the ground. When a pie falls from the sky, the first mouth it lands in is surely a master's. Nowadays we advocate for a circular economy -- well, the most circular economy of all is the master. "Master" is just "corpse" writ large, whose sole function is to breed more maggots. And all masters are transformed from maggots -- originally there were no masters in the world, but eat enough corpses and you become one.

Of course, masters also come in ranks. The promising career of being a master naturally has bright financial prospects too. Therefore, for masters, ranking is not merely a spatial concept representing industry status but more of an economic concept. Think about it -- which master doesn't need lackeys? Is it easy to keep lackeys nowadays? Three or five thousand won't do the trick. And all masters know that America's renminbi is called the "dollar" -- this "dollar" has nothing to do with Goubuli steamed buns. The dogs over there are all hot ones.

Not all masters are fond of dollars either. Antique coins are fashionable now -- don't they feel so substantial in the hand? Laozi's ox once kicked one, Li Si's chicken once pooped on one, Li Bai's sister-in-law's wet nurse once stepped on one. Such historical gravitas! They carry the information of all these Li-somebodies. Just sniffing one makes you a master. If you can hang one on a protruding body part and show it off a few times, well then you're a first-rate master.