A Few Idle Words
2008/8/27 8:15:37
I have things to attend to this afternoon, so there may not be time to write a post. Didn't sleep well last night and woke up early, so I might as well chat idly for a bit.
Things have indeed been rather troublesome lately. The most troublesome issue is that over the past few months, lying and sitting for too long has caused nerve compression in my lower back. In other words, this ID — far from being elderly — is exhibiting symptoms typical of the middle-aged and elderly. The persistent pain from nerve compression is the most annoying kind. When it's severe, both feet go numb — very unpleasant. So now I probably need to go for traction daily, otherwise if it gets worse, it'll be a real problem.
The current issue is that treating the major illness involves a lot of material being stripped away that needs to be expelled. Note: it cannot be expelled through regular elimination channels. Those channels can at most handle relatively coarse material. What's being stripped off now is much finer. So there is considerable physical stress, and all the previous prolonged suffering has already weakened the body. Conditions that weren't previously noticeable have now become pronounced — like the nerve compression mentioned above. Honestly, treating the disease itself is not that hard. The difficulty is how to balance the other problems it triggers so that they don't disrupt the continuity of treatment.
It's like the stock market. Getting one bottom pattern to appear is not easy but still happens fairly often. But ultimately holding above the upper boundary and extending it into a stroke — that's much harder. Many effects, under the wear of time, become completely useless. This is the trouble with all treatments.
The extraordinary healer's initial rhythm of treatment every other day was correct. Actually, it should be every three days. But this ID insisted on being able to endure, so it was changed to every two days. Looking back now, that insistence may have been a bit hasty. So this ID can only persevere under this self-selected, possibly slightly fast rhythm. Since it's already like this, this ID has nothing to complain about. After all, if it were every three days, ten sessions would take over a month and a half — too slow. Even if it means more suffering, this ID would rather have the faster pace.
Right now, there's basically no interest in thinking. The brain just doesn't want to work. But internal changes in the body are rapid. According to the extraordinary healer, metabolism has essentially accelerated several fold. And it feels that way too. To put it weakly: for example, I get hungry very quickly, as if I had hyperthyroidism. Sensitivity to pain and other sensations is heightened and persistent. Things that never seemed to be problems before are suddenly problems now. Dizzy.
I see some friends saying they've noticed changes in their ears. This must be taken seriously. Sharp ears and bright eyes indicate good health. When the ears start changing, that's a very obvious signal. Please find some decent Chinese medicine practitioners and get some preliminary conditioning. Whether you can find one depends on karmic connection.
How pitiful. In the old days, formal Confucian education required Chinese medicine to be studied with particular care. Minor ailments could all be handled on one's own. Unfortunately, Chinese civilization went who-knows-where long ago. Starting from education, there have been major problems. Consider this: if a person doesn't even have a basic understanding of medicine and the human body, what is the point of understanding anything else? Even from the most scientific standpoint, humans are the observers. If you know nothing about the observer itself, everything that follows is really just a game.
This ID's energy is truly not suited for launching a series on Chinese medicine right now. It takes too much mental effort. I'll wait until I've recovered a bit. Writing posts now — anyone with experience can tell from what this ID writes that there's an energy problem. It's that innermost, continuous generative force that has weakened. This has nothing to do with the outward form of the writing; it's something that can only be felt. A lesser writer, under the impact of external emotional intensity, may produce writing that appears excellent in outward form. But a master can still discern the level of that innermost thread of sustained force within — that is what determines ultimate achievement. So even the most garbage thing a master writes, as long as that sustained force is still present, the soul is present, and the quality cannot be that garbage. Li Bai's worst poems would still be beyond what second- and third-rate poets could produce in a lifetime. The principle is the same.
No energy left. Done writing. Wash up, no sleeping though. Wait for the stocks to put on their show. Wait for the afternoon treatment. Then another day — boring, isn't it? With this kind of karmic situation, when will it finally be resolved? What must be resolved must be resolved; "letting it go unresolved" is bullshit. The Second Patriarch, even in old age, went back to play out that farce, and then departed this world upon exhausting his karmic ties. This is great compassion and great responsibility. This karmic tie originally cannot be resolved, yet by resolving it, one forms boundless future connections. These boundless sentient beings are all resolved, transforming infinite accumulated grievances. A practitioner follows conditions in all actions — is it truly for oneself?
The world is originally empty. Karmic ties are not real. What better than to do great battle with the demon armies of the dream? To play out with sentient beings a drama of infinite mirrored flowers and reflected moonlight — is that not magnificent?