"Let's Play a Long One — 54 Rhyming Couplets, Also in Reply to garychangguo, Xutang, et al." (Apologies — the original text is unaltered; cover your eyes where necessary)

Xiaoren is just Xiaoren — don't ask if small or wicked — milk doesn't make a mother — rice doesn't make a father
On the hilltop raise a big flag — by the roadside pick wild flowers — though duck-billed and rat-eyed — there's a thing as big as an eggplant
A bit more black hair — a bit less tenderness — anti-aircraft guns aimed at the sky — into the cave, fiercer than a snake
Everyone gasps "wow" — everyone cries "oh my" — as long as there's something to do — any place can be home
Vast, vast waters of the grey-green sea — colorful mists of Witch Mountain — the Goddess nowhere to be found — only crows on the treetops seen
The crow-girl shows me the path — distant sky, voice hoarse and raspy — firing cannons at a flying machine — accidentally hitting a Nine Dragons chariot
Xihe, the one-eyed sun-god — grabbing a big bamboo fork — scolds me for disturbing public affairs — arrests me and throws me into the celestial court
The courtyard has eight mouths — the lion has two rows of teeth — heaven above and the human world — in the end, are equally no different
Suddenly word comes that His Excellency — last night was with a beauty — caught a case of "saddle-wind" — now soaking in the private sauna
The newcomer is thrown in the dungeon — hands and feet in iron shackles — one month and a half flashes by — every day, meals without tea
Single garment, wrinkled beyond smoothing — both temples, tangled like hemp — the once heaven-bearing pillar — has become a bean sprout
The prison roof cracks open in alarm — Venus stands upon a red flower — an edict summons Marshal Tianpeng — for his lewd acts violating Lady Moon
Exiled down to the Third Realm — forever to be a recitation-frog — for all males of the heavens — self-castration with the Mo Ye sword
The obedient keep heaven's pleasures — the defiant turn to sunken sand — in an instant, light folds ten-thousandfold — red rain obscures the sun and moon
Horses neigh, cuckoos weep — dragons chant, phoenixes sigh — silver juice tempers jade-green — steel hands rend the pipa
Suddenly, heaven and earth are silent — the cosmos turns clear and fine — graceful immortal figures — each holding a giant club (wood-radical — a whip)
Cloud-glow opens heaven's gate — thunder rolls with ten thousand war-drums — the Strongman raises a golden halberd — eyes red, mouth like a shark's
"Audacious lecher — defying the decree, your crime cannot be pardoned — the little head is precious — the big head even more praiseworthy
A capable minister doesn't shy from cunning — Bian He's jade doesn't shy from flaws — why emulate the stupid ones — wooden and dull like a blockhead"
"Heaven's net is vast indeed — who isn't a fish or shrimp? — Human life flickers and passes — a lone raft on the grey sea
A man has gold in his knees — he won't learn to crawl like a dog — in the next life there'll still be a stick — and I'll still f*** your lot
Come on, come quickly — just add a scar to the neck — if there's food before death — bring two catties of hawthorn fruit"
Just as the axe is about to fall — the firmament suddenly tilts — heaven and earth unite in one roar — f*** you, B**** Nuwa
Kneading mud without water — making nothing but tofu dregs — just patched the sky the day before — wore out your grandpa to death
The river bursts, stars shatter — whale-waves roll without end — transforming into the fire of three realms — all things like reed-grass in the wind
A Southern Branch dream awakens — heaven and earth are draped in gauze — the setting sun sheds red tears — wetting the loquats across the hills
Beyond the smoke, village ruins are dense — among the clouds, the heavenly road is far — whimpering like autumn waters — not knowing from where the reed-pipe sounds